UnrealLauren

Dancing with Obama

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:12:37 GMT

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I Don't Fight And Tell

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 08:24:57 GMT

Ch 6 of my fan fiction I've been posting on FF.net but suddenly stopped working. So I'm going to post it here so one of my friends and readers can read it. ^^

A/N: You’re all right. I’m horrible. I’m awful. I’m lazy. I’m a bum. Add in whatever other adjective comes to mind. I’m apologize terribly for my lack of updates lately. I was so good about it, but then this chapter made me blah. Some was very difficult to write, and then once I did, I was not happy with the end product. Buuut you can thank my vacation for the update. I decided that since I’m going to Texas for ten days, starting Tuesday, and I’m being forced to leave my precious laptop behind, that I needed to get off my ass, or on my ass in the case, and update. I’m dragging myself kicking and screaming, but I refuse to let all of my wonderful readers and reviewers wait ten days for an update. So although I’m incredibly busy making lists and packing because my mother is convinced we won’t finish packing on time, (mostly because she decides to bring all of King Tuts belongings with her. I’m not so worried, because I don’t even have much to bring) I will post the last two chapters before I leave and finish this story. Yay!! Wow, this is a long ass Author’s Note. Am I breaking some kind of record? For all of you that are still reading, thank you, and I will now let you get on with the story.

Disclaimer- I own nothing but the ridiculously long Authors Note.

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Suddenly Cassie was there, walking onto the bridge slowly, catching the tail end of the story. She sat and continued where Jess left off. “It went on for a year.”

She and Jess took turns telling the rest.

About a year later, Cassie and Jess went to get checked for STD’s. It was routine. They went every year, just in case. Apparently someone there tipped some detectives off about Cassie’s suspicious scars.
Cassie had gotten much better. The episodes in which she lost it were few and far between. It seemed she was becoming numb to it, and she got to where she just went somewhere else, and came back after the awfulness was over. It didn’t make it okay, but it helped. Helped Cassie cope. Helped her just go on with her relationship with Jess, that had become increasingly tense over year in which George was ruining Cassie’s life.
For the last few months Jess and Cassie had been fighting. It seemed like all of the time. Jess wanted to report it. Make it end. Cassie didn’t. Yes, she wanted it to end, but she didn’t want to report it. It hurt enough to have Jess know. She didn’t know if she could stand her mother knowing.
She had been getting farther from her mother, unconsciously holding a grudge against her for what was happening. Like it was somehow her fault. And in Cassie’s somewhat fucked-up mind, it was. Shouldn’t her mother see her unhappiness? Shouldn’t there have been some motherly instinct to tell when there’s something wrong? Cassie believed her mother was just too caught up in George to pay enough attention to notice. But that didn’t mean she didn’t love her mother dearly, and want to inflict any kind of pain on her. So she fought to keep it a secret. Didn’t care what it meant for her. But Jess did.
Jess’ and Cassie’s fights were not few and far between. They fought anywhere and everywhere. The kids at school even noticed. Multiple times Jess would get fed up and tell Cassie that it was over, walking out. But the next day he always returned and he and Cassie would make up, apologizing and making promises they couldn’t keep. Then they would fight again. Curse, scream, hit, push, and throw things at each other. All of the fights were not even about the same thing. Underlying, yes, but they would find the smallest things to fight about. Down to what the other was wearing or listening to. Everything the other did seemed to get on their nerves. Sure they had the good moments in which it was quiet and all they had was the love for each other. Because no matter how much they fought, they loved each other. Which in the end was why they fought. Jess loved and cared so much about Cassie that he didn’t want to respect her wishes, he wanted to end the pain. In his efforts, he only caused himself pain and became more and more closed off from Cassie, along with everyone else. Usually his attitude was saved for everyone that wasn’t Cassie, but that was changing rapidly and it was one more thing they fought about. They were having one of their more serious fights when the detectives walked in.
The two were in a small secluded part of the school by some lockers no one used, arguing like they always did.
“He could’ve killed you!” Jess yelled angrily.
“Jess, you don’t get it. I need to be strong about this. He does it to hurt me. He does it to see me cry, to see me in pain. I can’t show him that.”
“So you told him I had a bigger dick so it didn’t matter what he did to you?! You could have gotten had a major concussion from how hard he hit your head on the wall! I was worried sick!” The first line would have been funny if not for the ridiculously angry outburst that came as a result of it.
“Jess, I do it to hurt him. He gets mad because he’s hurt. I have to hurt him like he’s hurting me.”
“Nothing you could do to him would be worse than what he does to you. That’s it, I’m telling someone.”
Unfortunately, what came next was what the detectives heard.
“No, Jess! Please!”
“Yes, I’m going to-” He stepped close to Cassie, his body almost touching hers.
“No!” She yelled a little stronger, cutting him off.
“Dammit, Cassie!” Jess punched the lockers next to her head, leaving a permanent indent in them. To Cassie’s credit, she didn’t flinch. She was used to his outbursts.
“Jess Mariano?” The detective called. Jess looked in their direction. They came up on him, slamming him face first against the lockers, putting him in handcuffs. “You’re under arrest for the rape of Cassandra King.”
“What?!” They both yelled simultaneously, equally outraged.
“He didn’t rape me!” She tried to defend, but they kept pushing Jess through the halls, earning many looks from the students around them.
“Come with us, Ms. King.” The taller, lankier detective ordered, leading her through the halls after Jess.
They were put in separate rooms to be questioned at first. Cassie of course got the tall, gentler detective who now had a woman with him.
“Ms. King, we found signs of rape, and Jess’ seamen.” Cassie was sitting at a table with a mirror on one wall of the room and one of the two detectives standing. She felt like a criminal.
“Of course you found his seamen. He’s my boyfriend. We have sex. All of the time. In fact, we had sex this morning. I like it a little rough, okay? No biggie.” None of that was a lie. She did like it rough. Always had. And they did have sex that morning.
“There’s rough, and then there’s rape.” The woman stated.
“He didn’t rape me.” Cassie insisted.
They changed subject. “You two seemed to be in a fight.”
“We’re a couple. Couple’s fight. It was a stupid little high school fight.”
“Your boyfriend looked pretty mad for just a stupid high school fight.”
“He thought I was cheating on him. He was going to beat the guy up. Yeah, he was mad. But he didn’t, and does not, rape me.”
There was a knock at the door, and the detectives excused themselves from the room. Apparently both Jess’ and Cassie’s stories were straight, and it was decided to question them together. They thought maybe they could get a little passion out of them when they were together.
After it seemed an eternity of questioning, Jess gave in. He turned to Cassie. “I’m telling them.”
“Don’t, Jess.” Her voice was scared, pleading, and warning.
“I can’t watch you go through this anymore. It hurts too much.”
“Jess, if you say anything I’ll never forgive you and I’ll never speak to you again.” She looked Jess straight in the eye and he looked straight back for several long seconds. He then turned to the detectives.
“I’ll talk.” He glanced back at Cassie, but she was no longer looking at him. She was staring intently at the table in front of her, shaking slightly.
The detectives were making him move to another room so that Cassie couldn’t change his story or his mind. As he was getting up, he whispered in her ear. “I love you.” She flinched noticeably almost as if the words physically hurt her, but didn’t look at him. She just kept her gaze on the table.

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A/N: Okay, I definitely suck. Making you wait this long for a chapter this short? I apologize. I didn’t know how short it was. Probably due to how evil it was. But I will post the next chapter before Tuesday, that’s for sure. Most likely tomorrow, for I will be busy after that. Please review! They make me so happy, and would add to the happiness of the vacation. Oh, and some of my reviewers have stopped reviewing. That makes me sad. Where are you reviewers?! I am short of nothing without you. Just one more chapter everyone!!!

Curley-Q

Hollowgirl22

Dragon Dreamer3

Squealing

Watergurl123

Sagebeth

Aiden86

Exitlight

Just A Girl

- Thank you so much! I’m glad you like my writing. It’s a little rough sometimes, because I don’t use any Beta. But, I think I improve with each story. Only one more chapter until this story is over.- I imagine that if Rory was raped, Jess would not act kindly towards who did it. Hm.. You’ll have to read the rest of the story. Which is only one more chapter, so you won’t have to wait for much. Thanks for the review!- Thank you, hun. I know. You need to wake up early more often to talk to me and keep me awake waaaay past my bedtime. ^^- Wow, didn’t think I’d get a review from you. Couldn’t tell from your review whether you liked it or not. I know. Dramatic. Too much so? Thanks for the review.- Sorry, not soon. Not soon at all. I’ve been putting it off, because that’s what I do best. But I’m finishing this before my vacation.- Okay. I feel for those who it’s happened to. Thank you for reviewing. I really do appreciate it.- Thank you very much. Sometimes memory is a really terrible thing. Bad things do go in replay. I’m speaking from personal experience. Not sleeping because you close your eyes and it’s like instant replay over and over and over. It doesn’t end. Yes, this is having an extremely emotional impact on Jess. Hence why in flashbacks he’s so caring, and in the show he’s not. I’m kind of trying to show that. What happened to make him the way he is now. Or in the third season. So closed off. Such a trouble-maker. I don’t think it will effect Rory too much. Yes, a little, but not in a permanent way. Just in a realization that the world isn’t warm and fuzzy like Stars Hollow. You’ll see in the next chapter. - Aw, that’s too bad. You shouldn’t. She didn’t do anything wrong. Haha. I actually really don’t like Rory. Strange that I like Lit so much. - Thanks!

Paire's a bad influence. I'm blah

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 09:59:24 GMT

You see, if you know me, you know that in the summer I don't sleep. At night, anyway. I usually find myself going to bed around 8 in the morning, and at the beginning of this summer got to around noon. But really I wasn't getting any rest and I would get up around 6 in the evening and be guilt tripped by my mother. Finally, my bff Lien got me back on track by wanting to hang out around 2 in the afternoon only giving me about an hour and a half to sleep. She wore me out that day (sounds dirty, but no, it's not) and when I got home at 8:30 I only had enough energy to eat a banana and collapse in bed.

Suddenly, I found myself getting up around 7 in the morning. It was amazing. Never in my life have I voluntarily gotten up at 7 in the morning. I felt like a normal person, and it kind of freaked me out but also kind of felt good. But dammit, I knew it wouldn't last forever becuase I'm not naturally a morning person. The night time is the right time for me. Sooo, now I'm sitting in my kitchen at my laptop at 3:30 in the morning, and I'm not tired. I want to be tired. I blame myself. I'm so lazy.

My alarm goes off at about 10:30 in the morning and I fool myself into thinking I'm actually going to get up. So I turn off my alarm and lay in bed, trying to slowly wake up. Next thing I know, I'm looking to my clock and it's 2:30 in the afternoon. Not fair! And for all the Paire fans, I'm going to blame you. I've spent WAY too much time reading fan fictions and such. I'm having at least 2 paire dreams a night for the last week. It's rediculous and a little disturbing. The last one I had was outright wrong. Not only cesty, but waay underage.

I think I'm a masochist. I know that reading Paire is making me dream about them every night, yet I find myself visiting the Pairelove comm everyday along with going to ff.net to read more paire fics. *sigh* I don't know what to do with myself. I need a life. I really do. I'd have more of one if Lien's father wasn't uber anal insane. One day a week to hang out? Rediculous. And I don't get close enough to any other people to want to hang out with them. I have the opportunity, but I never take it. I actually only like very few people. The rest I just tolerate and find myself being drawn to my laptop more than being drawn to them.

I used to spend my time writing fan fics, and I was writing one. I was very proud because I was cranking out chapters every few days. But recently I've come to a standstill. I have the end pretty much written, but to this one flashback I just feel that there should be more to it. But I don't know what. I also used to make fan music videos. But as my last post indicated, I can't publish any movies so I'm just not interested in making them anymore.

Everything I used to do all of the time, I don't want to do anymore. I need to find something else to do. I'm having a mid-teen crisis. I don't like anything about myself anymore. How I look, what I do. It's not me. I need to find who me is. I'm unhappy pretty much 24/7. I don't think I know what happy feels like anymore. It's been too long. School starts again in less than a month, and I'm not ready for it. I have summer reading I should be doing, but always find an excuse to put it off. I've been home all summer which has never happened. I always visit my father during the summer and it's good to get away for awhile. But not this summer. Apparantly he's too busy for his only daughter. I know who's NOT winning father of the year. I'm going to Texas at the end of July (I think) and that should be fun. Buuut I will also be away from my wonderful laptop that I love so much for ten days because my mother thinks it's rude to bring a laptop when you visit someone. So, the vaca won't be as wonderful as it could be. I hate the stupid state I live in, and pretty much everyone in it. I haven't cried in ages because I got so sick of doing it, I refused to and now can't even cry when I feel like it.

I want to be someone else, which is why I think I shy away from everyone during the summer and never leave my room. I can be whoever I want when no one else is around. I can pretend I actually enjoy the life I'm living and who's in it. Depression's a bitch. Having thoughts of suicide at the age of 5 cannot be normal. And my life isn't even all that terrible. I know it. I know it could be unimaginably worse, I'm not saying I have the worst existance ever. I'm just saying I'm not happy with mine. Getting up to face the day shouldn't be as hard as it is. Also why I think I take to night. Most of the world is sleeping, and I don't have to face anyone. I'm just all alone, and it's really quiet, and dark, and no one can see me.

*sigh* It's now 4 in the morning, and I really do need to be getting to bed. So this will be all for tonight. I need to think everything over for awhile.

stupidwindowsmoviemakernotlettingmepublishmymovieihateyou

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 05:47:14 GMT

JEEBUS!!!

So a little less than a week ago, I was making my best friend Lien a very lovely video for her birthday. I remember I was so angry because at first Windows Movie Maker wouldn't let me publish the movie. I could've clubbed a baby. (Krista remembers my rage) I don't remember how, but I got it to work finally. But today I finally finished a video I had been working on for a few weeks. I was very proud that I finished this video and was tres excited to get it up onto YouTube so my subscribers didn't think I dropped off the face of the planet. But now WMM is doing the exact same thing it did to me when I was making Lien's video, except this time I can't fix it. I've been trying everything for the past 3 hours. I've gone onto a plethera of threads talking about problems publishing on WMM and I've tried everything that worked for others. But nothing has worked for me. So I'm frustrated and have a headache and I'm going from angry to sad very quickly. It's late and I'm giving up. .

If anyone has any information that could be helpful, please contact me. I'm desperate over here. I think my anger and frustration has made me ill. The unbearable heat isn't helping matters. Where's the damn rain?!

I Call Shananigans!

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 05:17:06 GMT

So I went to the dentist a few days ago to get my teeth cleaned. You know how everytime you go to the dentist they give you "goodies"? (toothbrush, dental floss, ect.) Well this morning I got up (yes, amazing i know, but it was actually morning) and I'm grabbing my toothbrush, putting toothpaste on it when it occurs to me that the dentist gave me a new toothbrush. And at first I'm like saweet!! So then I go to get this new toothbrush out of the bag the dentist gave me, I pull it out, and this toothbrush is totally teh weak sauce! My older toothbrush is a million times better.

Then I was thinking about how ironic it is that a toothbrush you get from Wal-Mart is 10 trillion times better than a toothbrush your dentist gives you. Aren't they supposed to be pro dental health? They just want to give you a crappy ass toothbrush so you'll get cavaties and they get more money.

So these ads on TV for toothbrushes that dentists "reccomend" I'm totally not getting cause they must suck ass like the toothbrushes they give you.

Stupid dentists and their evil schemes to torture you further and make money off of it.

Attacked By A Moth Continued...

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 06:00:45 GMT

After leaving my bathroom door open all night with the lights off so the moth will fly to a light elsewhere, I get up around 6 in the evening. I shuffle to the bathroom with clean clothes and close the door to start undressing and brush my teeth.

I start brushing my teeth when the moth flies up at me from wherever it had been hiding for 10 hours. I almost scream in frustration and once again flail my arms about to get it away from me.

I finish up quickly and get undressed and into the shower, closing the door as fast as possible so the moth won't get in. But before I do that, I turn on the fan so the bathroom doesn't get too hot.

While in the bath tub washing my hair, I find myself wishing the fan was stronger and could suck up the moth and take it away from me forever.

I'm almost done with my shower and am washing my body when the spastic thing flies over the door and into the bathtub with me. This time I actually do scream as it flies frantically around my soapy naked body.

I almost slip and fall to my doom as I jump around and freak. Somehow though, the moth goes down first into the bath water and starts to drown. I'm tempted to let it, and actually watch it do so for a couple of minutes. A few minutes later, it's still twitching in the water, so I take pity on it (not that I should) and grab some toilet paper, helping it out of the water and saving it from ending it's life.

Being the brainless insect it is, it starts to freak out again and falls back into the tub. Now I'm frustrated and take a scrubber that's in my tub (don't ask me why it's there. To clean my tub I think.) and pick it up quickly throwing it into the trash can and throwing the soaking toilet paper over it to teach it a lesson.

To sum everything up, I haven't seen it since. . If it did die, I can now say I tried and have a clear conscience. Not that I'm sad if it's dead. If it is, I will in fact be very happy. We'll see when I get ready for bed again, though.

Tormented And Enraged By A Moth

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 13:42:32 GMT

So here I am on my computer at 7 in the morning. I decide it's time for bed, so I go upstairs to do my nightly...er...morningly...er...bedtime routine (washing my face, brushing my teeth, ect).

Now usually I wait until I'm done with all of that to change into my pajamas and crawl straight into bed from there. But today I decided to change into my pajamas early because I didn't feel well and wanted to get comfortable.

So anyway here I am all already in my pajamas bleary-eyed in my bathroom with the door closed as to not wake anyone in the house. I was sluggishly wetting my face, and putting my face wash on my hands beginning to wash my face when the first attack occured.

Suddenly there's something rolling off of my ponytail down my back and to the floor. By the time I jump and look, the perpetrator has hidden under the sink. I continue to wash my face warily looking at the floor where I last saw a glimpse of the pest, but nothing comes out.

It's finally time to rinse my face. I bend over the sink to rinse and cup my hands, filling them with water to run over my face. I'm on my second run when suddenly it's back and this time it's made it down the back of my shirt. Of course I spazz out and with a two handfuls of water, my arms fly to my shirt to try and get it out, soaking me in the process. Now I'm frustrated and getting angrier by the second. I see the moth flying around the miniscule bathroom and glare at it. If looks could kill.

Finally it lands in a corner on the ceiling. I watch it for several seconds before going to finish rinsing my face. I bend over the sink once more, and the moth kamakazes into my head. I flail about (soaking myself and the bathroom further) trying to hit it. I purposely flick water at it thinking in my sleepy, fuming state that it will somehow drown the idiotic insect. No such luck. Finally after maybe a minute of watching it land on various surfaces glaring at it, I go back to the sink and frantically rinse my face as to avoid getting attacked once again. I make it this time, but I still have to brush my teeth.

Glaring at the moth the entire time, I get my toothbrush, wet it, put tooth paste on it, and back up to the wall as far from the sink as I can (which is only maybe a foot away. stupid microscopic bathroom.) I'm rigid and enraged from what the moth has put me through in the comatose state I'm in, when suddenly it dives for my feet, flying around my legs trying to get up my pant leg while I kick about doing something resembling a river dance with a buzzing toothbrush hanging from my mouth. Finally after I land a good kick to the head it flies between the sink and toilet and hides. Now I open the bathroom door not caring who I wake up in the house because they can't possibly be angrier than I am. Of course then, the moth hides while I finish brushing my teeth and take my hair down.

I inwardly stomp back to my room (not actually stomping because my conscience is back and I really do care who I wake up) pissed at how a small moth could torment me so. And now here I am writing about it as to not dream about every possible was to kill the insipid thing.

I hope you enjoyed that.